Man forgets he is married after surgery (x)

This is adorable!

Relationship goals ☺

(Source: patrickmasturbateman, via rafikix3)

1 week ago
704,266 notes
I wanted you to fight for me and you didn’t.
You can’t save everybody. In fact, there are days when I think you can’t save anyone. Each person has to save himself first, then you can move in and help.
Laurell K. Hamilton, Guilty Pleasures (via simply-quotes)

(via simply-quotes)

1 week ago
1,616 notes
When women scream you wonder what’s wrong with them. When men yell you get afraid about what they’re going to do.
A girl in my creative writing class said this in response to a story we read about witnessing intimate partner violence and it really fucked with my head because I’ve never, ever, ever, thought of it that way. (via firelorddahlia)

(Source: shmurdapunk, via only-happiness-lives-here)

1 week ago
406,862 notes
To Do List.


1. I do not own an eyelash curler.

    My roommate informs me that

    This is something that I

    Must rectify immediately.

2. Today, on the subway,

    A girl was pressing a metal spoon

    Into her eyelids.

    I observed no changes to her appearance

    Must investigate.

3. My stylist says my roots are “stressed”

    And “overworked”.

    I was not aware that my hair

    Was under my employ, however,

    Must give my roots a paid vacation

    And a raise.

4. Apparently I am not getting enough

    Vitamin A, B, D, Omega or Zinc but

    If I rub cocoa butter on my heels and

    Eat only cayenne pepper and raspberries

    I could potentially live forever.

    P.S. I’m running low on ginseng infused herbal tea.

    Must buy before I get cancer.

5. Internet says urine is good for acne.

    Must check if own urine will suffice.

6. Cosmo says the only way to avoid

    A stale relationship is to practice

    At least three new sexual positions each week.

    I only know three sexual positions.

    Must try not to get dumped today

7. My horoscope says that I should take

    Advantage of the eighth moon’s extended stay

    In Jupiter’s orbit and find self- assurance

    And peace with the short nights of summer.

    Must Google what to eat to boost self- assurance.

1 week ago
244 notes
Most times, it’s just a lot easier not to let the world know what’s wrong.
Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters (via simply-quotes)

(Source: simply-quotes, via un-finishedhuman)

1 week ago
32,757 notes

my mom was trying to drive us home from the beach and she wanted to stop at this lighthouse, but we got lost on the way back and she pulled over here and it looked so pretty in this sad kind of way

my mom was trying to drive us home from the beach and she wanted to stop at this lighthouse, but we got lost on the way back and she pulled over here and it looked so pretty in this sad kind of way

(Source: cactuseeds, via august-cold)

1 week ago
11,251 notes
You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom: absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this or die like this without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.
So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.
Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie (via sunst0ne)

(via inspiring-one)

2 weeks ago
81 notes